Sorry for this irrelevant question; I just thought knowing point of views of people doing bioinformatics could light my mind about the frustrating situation I am nowadays.
I am a PhD graduate in molecular genetics that based on our weird educational system I don't have any wet lab expertise even working with PCR machine. In my PhD I analysed RNA-seq, ribo-seq, miRNA-RNA-seq, exom-seq and microarrays mainly by R, linux and a bit matlab. So, I know how to use tools from installation to obtain results in transcriptomics. But, I don't know matching learning, a deep statistics, math, and well programming. I published many papers on very low impact journals let's say just indexed by Scopus and Thomson router journal with maximum impact 1. So, shortly after my PhD I obtained postdoc as a computational biologist in a university with world rank 17 in molecular biology. Firstly, I was thinking how lucky I am because I studied in very very very low ranked universities in middle east. But, now I am just feeling I am not lucky rather I am a useless person with low intelligence that her overestimated CV by publishing some useless things in data analysis obtained this position. Unfortunately the biological system I am working on, is not compatible with current algorithms in tracing cell states so likely I must develop my own method for analysing this data. This is very unlikely that this current boss extend my contract (even I don't want to be extended as I am just feeling rubbish about myself ). Once my boss told me my ability on analysing data is out of questioning however I am not independent thinker and my CV is an overestimation of my abilities :( :( :(. I don't know , might be my way of describing myself in Skype interviews with him deceived him; if so I am so sorry... If one of you were in my situation, what would you do? resigning and trying to a lower rank university? or?
I am working 15 hours 7 days but this would not compensate the competence I expected to have when I joined this lab
EDIT: I am likely not telling lie in my CV; However I am saying 3 years working experience in R while I just know how to use R for data analysis not coding anything new in R :(
I am listing 14 papers in which I am the first and correspondence author; I know employer would not check in which journals I have published :(
In brief, I am not this much to be deserved this position; the only option would be working hard and hard and move to somewhere with easiest duties :(**
EDIT: You right @h.mon, that demands to wait for the end of my contract to see what would be the decision of my boss in extending my contract (my contract is 1 year will terminated this February), but this is very risky as I am a visa holder in UK from a very poor country and in case my boss just in January decides I am not fit for this lab, I don't have enough time to find a job before leaving the country (I am aware if I back to my home country this is very unlikely I would find any job in bioinformatics overseas, as I mentioned that is all a miracle that I am here because I am not this much). So, I told my boss I am feeling needless and useless here, how likely you would extend my contract? He told he does not know yet as I started just 5 months ago and although I am a quick and good data analysis I am not independent and my CV is overrepresentation of me :( These words feared me a lot (I am aware he is right and fair). So, I decided to leave before he asks me to leave :( I have found another job in very very lower rank university in UK, the probation period for that is 1 year, and I could to try my best to pass my probation period as the contract is 3 years :(
This is a really sad story for whom leaving her position in such a well known lab voluntarily just because I am feeling incompetent
When I told my boss that I am leaving he got angry at me but as @Devon suggested I want to try my chance in establishing a new algorithm before my start date with new employer
I very much agree with what others have written below, but would like to comment on the following:
To this the following quote could apply:
Machine learning and programming are both not exactly rocket science, and you should not underestimate yourself. I'm pretty sure you can learn those skills too. Especially for machine learning there are many good tutorials available, which would put you on the right track. It sounds like a huge and daunting thing to learn, but you can do most of it in a couple of python lines...
That said, I of course don't know if it's suitable for the data you have. But just know that you absolutely have the required intelligence to do it. Sounds like you are a fighter, so this is another battle I'm confident you can win.
And that's just plain wrong. At this moment you are no longer productive. You are working, but you are not working efficiently. Nobody cares about the hours you put in. Don't count the hours, make the hours count. Due to all this overworking and stress you are also not able to take a little step back and look at everything in perspective. You are doing a postdoc, on difficult topics, in a non-ideal lab, and you will be fine in the long run. Don't work so unhealthy long!
If your boss is expecting you to come up with novel algorithms for tracing single-cell fates then he/she has absurdly unrealistic expectations. I suggest you try to set up a collaboration with a group that has the requisite expertise (for example Dominic Grün here at the MPI-IE). Then you might be able to (A) get the job done, (B) make your PI happy, and (C) expand your own capabilities in the process.
To weight in on the 'learning' programming part:
I wrote my first crappy scripts in my Masters 4 years ago. I enjoyed it, so I took it upon myself to solve challenges that help me learn. For example; rather than write a just-about-does-the-job hack, why not write a script that has a user-friendly commandline front end for example? Boom. You've just learnt
argparsein python. Perhaps your data requires the same repetitive task over and over, one afternoon of googling later: you know
parallel. Now, 4 years on, at the end of my PhD, I'm being offered jobs in institutions to become a 'proper' bioinformatician - and I haven't published a single 'pure' bioinformatics paper or tool. Those things aren't the real measure of an employees abilities - it's more about how you think. The fact that you don't think you are an independent thinker is probably the biggest source of concern in that whole post - and if that is the case, that is what you should work on first and foremost, in my opinion.
Sure, the finer points take time. But the finer points of RNAseq no doubt eluded you at the start.
Changing points for a second:
A female professor I knew studied a lot of gender equality in our institution. She was the chair of various panels related to the topic. One thing I remember her telling us was that it's an almost universal trait for women to undersell themselves on CVs, and men to do the opposite. As long as you are not lying on your CV, then it's somewhat 'buyer beware' when someone is hiring you. They should have the expertise to get a good feeling about whether you are competent or not. It's merely your job not to willfully deceive.
Sounds like you would benefit from talking to a career coach or counselor or something. If you want to continue in bioinformatics, because your heart is there, try to become better at it (learn how to write programs, learn about statistics). But if your passion is not bioinformatics, please consider to switch to something you would like to do until your retirement.
My passion is all goes to data analysis, I love that :) :)
If data analysis is your passion then join Contract Research Organisation (NGS application service provider) and analyse data for different application NGS data. There you are mainly expected to do analysis. It will definitely involve manipulation of files needed by different software, graphical presentation of result which you can do by R or shell script. Simultaneously opt for online courses for learning advance programming and statistics. Try to extend your limit by working hard but don't over stress yourself by doing work which is not meant for you.
So you mean I better to leave this job to reduce this negative feelings on myself?
Yes I believe so, rather than working in negatively, it is always better to work in encouraging environment where you get chance to contribute to the organisation you work as well as opportunity to grow yourself.
Oke this is a big change on a sudden. But you use a lot of sad faces, is it not a good thing that you already have an other job? And possibly for 3 years! Maybe I understand it wrong but a possible contract of 3 years is really nice. Lot of jobs in the academic sector are for sure temporary and not longer then two years. And don't worry about that ranked university part, that does not matter anyways also like Kevin Blighe said.
Well I am happy for you. And like every else already said feeling like this is very normal, every one had these moments one day. Me to and it was not nice, I also thought about quitting with bioinformatics and stuff but I just did not had enough life experience to know that this is normal and these fases are part of the beginning of your life. Do you even realize that you have a Phd and work in an other country? That is insanely good. Don't know where you are from but here it is not that every one walks around with a Phd.
Then you have 3 years of working experience in data analysis with R. Coding new packages and doing analysis are two different things (if I am wrong correct me).
Thanks a lot, very positive and encouraging
You right I am good in using R for data analysis